What Is This Anyway?

sleeping drifter

At 27 years of age, I was a broken-down mess of a human being.  This is a picture of me when I was 53.  Now that I am 42, things are quite different.  Rewind 15 years ago to a typical day:

10am — Wake up.  Coffee.  Cigarettes.

10:30am — Vodka.  Cigarettes.

11am — Take a look at my list of things to do.

11:30am — Nap.

1:30pm — Wake up.  Coffee.  Cigarettes.

2pm — Vodka.  Cigarettes.

2:30pm — Edit my list of things to do.  Do none of them.

3pm — Buy more vodka and cigarettes.

3:30pm — Fast Food.

4:30pm to 10:30pm — Wait Tables.

11pm — Vodka.  Cigarettes.

Sometime — Pass out.

While I occasionally did some interesting things, this made up the bulk of my life for about 5 years.  I was physically, intellectually, and emotionally ill.  It is doubtful that I would have made it to 40 at that rate of deterioration.  Sobriety was an insurmountable obstacle.  I could feel my body decaying from the inside out.  I tried to stop.  Couldn’t stop.  Tried to cut back.  Couldn’t cut back.

In 2008, I got some help.  I couldn’t do it on my own.  If I live to see March 10, 2018, I will have been sober for 10 years.  My life is very different now.  I am starting this blog as an effort to help others who can’t see their way out of the dark room that I was also in.

 

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