Low Carb Almond Flour Bowls

After nearly 10 months of low-carb/ketogenic eating, I’m officially a believer.  20 lbs of body fat gone.  Chronic acid-reflux gone.  Chronic fatigue…not quite gone, but seriously diminished.  I do not believe that there is a one-size fits all food program suited for every individual.  Much or our cultural heritage dictates our dietary needs.  Asians tend to be lactose intolerant because dairy cattle were not a significant part of their historical agriculture trends.  Some people can’t eat nuts of any kind.  I have a pet theory that those of us who have negative reactions to grains and starches come from a longer hunter-gatherer tradition than those whose ancestors farmed cereal grains for hundreds of years.

While that last assessment may be completely inaccurate, I can safely say that my body just doesn’t do well with staple food items that make up the bulk of a grain-oriented agricultural tradition.  If you’re like me, here are some recipe suggestions that can help keep you on a low-carb, grain-free path without missing out on the “good stuff.”  You will notice a few processed food items on this list.  As a general rule, I try to eat organic whole foods almost exclusively.  But sometimes I just don’t wanna, dammit.

I don’t expect to achieve immortality by limiting myself to free-range tofu and grass-fed salt.  Every once in a while I drink diet soda sweetened with aspartame.  If I’m in a hurry, I’ll get a fast food cheeseburger and toss the bun.  I also used to smoke two packs of cigarettes per day, so I’d say my occasionally imperfect eating routine is progress.  I’m also not a chef, and all of these recipes involve a microwave.  I keep hearing that microwaves denature food and can lead to the formation of free-radicals.  I just don’t care.

When I lived in Los Angeles, I always found it amusing how obsessive people could become about food purity over lunch at a restaurant, after spending the previous hour jogging behind a city bus in some of the worst smog in America.  It would probably be safer to live in Montana and eat chewing tobacco for breakfast.  But…I’m getting sidetracked.

Here are the “recipes.”  It is not an exhaustive list.  You can basically make these adjustments with anything that might otherwise involve bread.  The foundation for each recipe is an almond flour cake that functions as a neutral base:

2 tbsp. butter, melted

2 tbsp. almond flour (not almond meal)

pinch of salt

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

Stir it all up in a bowl and microwave for 75 to 90 seconds, depending on what consistency you prefer.

TOPPING OPTION IDEAS:

— Eggs, any style, with cheese, chives, and bacon pieces.

— Sugar free, low carb pancake syrup

— fresh raspberries and heavy cream

— Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato with mayo.

— marinara sauce, pepperoni, and mozzarella.

— ground beef, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mustard

— roast beef, sautéed onions and peppers, cheese, mayo

— clam chowder, minus potatoes. Sub white flour with almond flour.

— Lox, cream cheese, red onion, and capers

These are just a handful of ideas, but for me they are a lifesaver.  Sometimes I feel like I’ll jump out of my skin if I don’t get my hands on some bread or pancakes.  Any of these treats will do the trick just fine.

 

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The Funhouse

Don’t let the mirror determine how you feel about yourself on any particular day.  All mirrors are funhouse mirrors.  They distort what you think is an objective image of yourself, and then feed on that day’s sense of self-worth.  It can quickly devolve into a fiery crash if you’re not careful.  For example:

You didn’t sleep well last night.  Money stress is lurking around the mind’s back alleys.  You had an argument with your spouse before work.  Negativity is a magnet.  The day’s first look in the mirror is going to send staples and knives in the direction of that magnet.

“Why are you so fat?  You look ridiculous in these stupid clothes.  Great, another gray hair.  You look like Tales From The Crypt.  Is that cancer?”

You are destined to carry that image of yourself into the rest of your day as it plays ping pong with the other stressors in your life.  It will impact your interactions with co-workers and loved ones as the inner-dialogue negativity magnet continues to pick up needles and rusty nails.

“Glad to see Julie is wearing shorter skirts to work…the kind that whores wear.”  “Oh, I see.  The Keurig machine is out of water.  Again.  Thanks honey.  It’s obvious you want out of this relationship.”

The day becomes unproductive as the negative distractions pile on.  Another night of lost sleep.  Another barbed remark toward your spouse.  Another look in the mirror in the morning, and you’re in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the fattest, ugliest, most unlovable human being ever born.

The mirror is a reflection of everything that is going on inside.  You cannot see yourself objectively.  While a look in the mirror may seem like a clinical evaluation about whether or not your new diet is working, it can easily and destructively become derailed by a culmination of regret and worry.

For some tips on how to escape this cycle, see https://ificandoit.blog/2017/11/07/recovering-from-life-pt-3/